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BEFORE THE LOSS

While there is still time to be present and prepare

CAREGIVER (Presence & Support)

☐ Confirm care plan with medical team or hospice

☐ Create a simple daily rhythm (meals, rest, visitors)

☐ Identify 1–2 people to provide relief coverage

☐ Communicate updates to family regularly

☐ Keep the environment calm and comfortable

☐ Encourage meaningful visits (short and simple is enough)

☐ Note changes in condition and communicate them

ADMINISTRATOR (Legal, Financial, Practical)

☐ Confirm who has legal decision-making authority

☐ Locate will, trust, insurance, and key documents

☐ Identify attorney, financial advisor, and key contacts

☐ Confirm beneficiary designations

☐ Verify veteran status and benefits (if applicable)

☐ Review bank accounts, passwords, and access points

☐ Assess available funds for upcoming expenses

FAREWELL PLANNER (Meaning & Experience)

☐ Ask about burial or cremation preference

☐ Ask about wishes for a farewell gathering

☐ Write down one word that describes the person

☐ List 3 defining qualities

☐ Identify what they loved most

☐ Capture at least one meaningful story in their own words

☐ Begin collecting photos from different life stages

☐ Identify people who should be invited to the farewell

SHARED (Family Alignment)

☐ Decide who will take each role

☐ Identify who should visit soon

☐ Ask: “Is there anything unfinished we should address?”

☐ Reduce unnecessary obligations and distractions

DURING THE LOSS

The first hours and days

IMMEDIATE - All (First Hours)

☐ Contact hospice nurse or medical professional

☐ Obtain legal pronouncement of death (if needed)

☐ Contact the funeral home or cremation provider

☐ Notify immediate family

☐ Pause before making announcements

CAREGIVER

☐ Gather those who should be present

☐ Keep the space quiet and calm

☐ Say what needs to be said

ADMINISTRATOR

☐ Confirm transfer of the body with the provider

☐ Secure personal belongings and residence

☐ Begin list of people and organizations to notify

FAREWELL PLANNER

☐ Confirm general direction (burial or cremation)

☐ Begin thinking about the type of gathering (formal, informal, both)

COMMUNICATION - All (Next 48 Hours)

☐ Identify who will make calls vs send messages

☐ Prepare a simple announcement

☐ Notify the close circle first

☐ Hold off on public details until plans are confirmed

AFTER THE LOSS

Planning the farewell and handling what follows

FAREWELL PLANNER (Primary Lead)

Discovering the Person

☐ Complete the “One Word”

☐ Identify 3 core qualities

☐ List what they loved

☐ Write 1 Hero Story

☐ Write 1 Guide Story

☐ Draft the Essence Statement

Gathering Stories

☐ Send request for stories to 5–10 people

☐ Collect and review responses

☐ Identify common themes

☐ Select 2–3 stories for sharing

Planning the Event

☐ Choose location(s)

☐ Decide on structure (Story Circle, Ceremony, Reception)

☐ Select speakers or storytellers

☐ Choose music that reflects the person

☐ Plan one symbolic act tied to who they were

☐ Confirm date and time

ADMINISTRATOR (After Death Tasks)

☐ Order certified death certificates

☐ Notify Social Security

☐ Contact banks and financial institutions

☐ Begin insurance claims

☐ Cancel subscriptions and memberships

☐ Secure or memorialize social media accounts

☐ Meet with attorney or advisor if needed

CAREGIVER / FAMILY (Support & Continuity)

☐ Stay connected with close family members

☐ Plan support for key dates (holidays, birthdays)

☐ Schedule time to rest after the gathering

☐ Revisit stories and memories together

DAY OF THE FAREWELL

☐ Open with the Essence Statement

☐ Create space for stories

☐ Keep the pace unhurried

☐ Allow moments of quiet

☐ Make room for informal conversation

AFTER THE FAREWELL

☐ Divide remaining responsibilities

☐ Follow up on unfinished administrative tasks

☐ Thank those who contributed

☐ Consider a simple gathering at the one-year mark